Everyone’s Still a Soap Critic

Today, soap journalism is largely a digital affair, replacing our cherished paper magazines of yore. Happily, for the soap world, the websites are booming and today’s scribes -– some newbies and others who’ve been around the track a time or two — are no less zealous than ever. Everyone’s still a soap critic. Which inspired moi to take a fresh look at this installment of my “Critical Condition” column from Soap Opera Weekly that appeared on September 2, 1997. I offer it, slightly updated, as a new serving of time-tested food for thought.

Critical of the Critic’s Condition

Soap operas are meant to arouse emotion and generate strong opinions. That’s what perpetually compels viewers to tune in tomorrow. So, it was natural that soap opera criticism evolved. For decades only a few of us were doing it professionally.  Even when it seemed that soaps were dying for real, soap lovers remained loyal and enthusiastically loquacious as ever, thanks to the growing dominance of the internet as the main arena of debate.

Then, oh joy, we saw that soaps aren’t dying after all. Along came Beyond the Gates, a well-financed soap that is apparently catching on, propelled by the support of CBS Daytime, Procter and Gamble, and the NAACP. Now there are many soap sites on the internet expressing opinion galore, including two new soap podcasts, one on CBS called Soapy and another one put out by Soaphub.com.

Since it seems like we’re all in this together, Marlena would like to pass along some tips and suggested guidelines learned since I started this column in 1989. Since then, including this online version you are currently reading, launched in 2005, I have written more than six hundred.

1. Soap operas are not real life, they are theater and should be criticized as such. Probably half of the forests of North America could be preserved if soap opera critics would stop pointing out every soap plot, occurrence or convention that would never happen in real life. Sure, it’s highly unlikely that three days after undergoing a hysterectomy Guiding Light’s Annie (played by Cynthia Watros) could be up and recovering and crashing the Bauer picnic wearing a midriff-exposing hot pink cha-cha outfit! But, darlings, didn’t Cynthia Watros look beyond fabulous? (Marlena would kill for that outfit!) And did we really want to see Annie, with her hot bod, clad in a hospital schmatte? (Note: Cynthia Watros now plays Nina on General Hospital.)

I do agree that because of their ongoing nature soaps should emulate real life to a large degree. But critics who harp on the unreality of soaps are beyond tiresome. Yes, yes, we all know that people don’t really come back from the dead and toddlers don’t grow up to become teenagers overnight! Get over it!

2. Just because a soap opera critic can’t personally stand ticks, habits, looks or vocal quality of an actor or actress doesn’t give him or her license to publicly ridicule the performer. Looks do factor into the quality of soap operas because we viewers have to deal with them five days a week. And what we perceive to be physical “flaws” might bug us intensely. But darlings, is it even fair to criticize an actor by their looks? I remember doing a particularly bitchy treatise on one CBS soap actress’ perpetually dark roots. I thought it was funny at the time, but I’ve since learned that cruelty is for children.
3. Make every effort to assign credit or blame to the right person. Soaps are a highly collaborative medium, so it’s difficult to pinpoint which individual is responsible for what you see on screen. Marlena gets caught in this dilemma all the time. If I’m watching an episode of a soap and I like it, do I give credit to the head writer or the dialogue writer who wrote it? If an actor suddenly gives a stupendous “Star of the Week” performance, should he or she be credited it or should the director get credit? This is a toughie.

More importantly, what if your favorite performer is given dreck to play, who gets the blame? This situation happens on soaps all the time. Did Tracy E. Bregman (at that time playing her The Young and the Restless role of Lauren on The Bold and the Beautiful) deserve to get dissed because the show dressed her up as a can can girl and decorated her bedroom like a bordello when she recently seduced the engaged Eric Forrester?)  Believe moi, where the fault lies is never clear on a soap opera.

4. Strive always to be objective even if favoritism is irrevocably insidious to soap criticism. We’re all fans in this business no matter what writing experience we have or how many degrees we have in journalism that we bring to the table. (Has Marlena ever told you she is a big fan of Susan Lucci and Thorsten Kaye?) As fans (and we are all fans) can become a bit myopic, we tend to overemphasize their importance or their appeal. Marlena humbly believes that when you consciously recognize that your personal favorite isn’t as universally appealing as you think he or she is, you are halfway home to being a credible soap critic.
5. Soap critics should never write from a position of personal ego or write about themselves. Oh, ha-ha-ha, mademoiselle? Oh, come on, the joy of soap opera criticism is the humor involved, isn’t it? You can love soaps and make light of them too, a tune I’ve been humming for years and years. But when it comes down to being a serious soap critic, believe Marlena, it’s all about the work.