By Marlena De Lacroix a.k.a. Connie Passalacqua Hayman
General Hospital: Soaps or biology — which do you choose to believe?
On General Hospital this week, surrogate mother Maxie had a miscarriage (of the week-old embryo that is Dante and Lulu’s child) and barely noticed it. The same evening, New Year’s Eve, a drunk and apparently rejected Spinelli was waiting on the hospital rooftop for a midnight reunion with his intended Ellie. In an homage to Love Affair, both versions, and An Affair to Remember, Ellie was in a car accident en route and never made it. But Maxie showed up instead, straight from the hospital, and she and Spinelli had sex. It’s a soap, so it’s obvious Maxie will again be pregnant, and will try, through many months of whining and dithering, to pass off her and Spinelli’s child as Dante and Lulu’s.
This is the first time in 23 years Marlena wishes she had an ob/gyn in the old rolodex. Is it really possible for a woman to have a miscarriage without blood or cramps and barely even know it? Is getting pregnant again so soon after a miscarriage barely even possible? What woman would want to have sex the same night she had a miscarriage?
Well, as a person with female parts, I biologically don’t believe the whole scenario. But as an experienced soap watcher I know a big important plot twist when I see it coming. That’s the problem with being a soap watcher — you’ve got to believe what headwriters want you to believe, whether you know it’s illogical or not. It’s basically your choice.
After much thinking, however, I must ultimately chose to go along with the Maxi/Spinelli “reconception” because otherwise, GH has been a pretty spectacular soap to watch and I want to continue watching, lest I miss the latest turns in the fascinating Duke/Anna plot. But I don’t like being asked to accept this unlikely medical hi-jinx. It makes me feel like a fool. Headwriters shouldn’t make viewers feel that way to continue watching. I’m sure no matter what you feel about this plot twist, you’d agree that Maxie and Spinelli having sex the same night as her miscarriage was certainly a big case of ick.
All My Children and One Life to Live: Agnes Nixon has just given her confirmation and blessing to the new cable/on-line versions of the shows she founded. The producers are said to be Prospect Park (remember them?), back from the dead to take another run at bringing soaps to the internet. But will PP really make a go of it this time?
Well, actors are being contacted to rejoin the show, so goes the buzz. So let’s play a game. Which key actors from each soap do you think Prospect Park must absolutely choose to make the transition to these new shows believable? Send me your lists. For me, a bare minimum at All My Children would be Susan Lucci and Michael Knight. On One Life to Live, you can’t go without Erika Slezak and Robin Strasser and Bob Woods. Kassie DePaiva and Jerry ver Dorn would be nice, too. Then there’s the problem of the key OLTL actors who have already transferred to GH: Roger Howarth and Michael Easton. Do you think they should they leave GH and return to their old show?
So think carefully, Thinking Fans, and start compiling your essential casting lists for the new AMC and OLTL. We are, after all, soap opera fans. We want to believe!