The Kardashians: A Soap

By Connie Passalacqua Hayman

aka Marlena De Lacroix

Soap starved, I have become obsessed with the Kardashians.  Every day, I can’t wait to see what’s happening with the three sisters whose IQs combined don’t top mine.  But never mind that. Their lives are filled with romance, glamour, strum and drang, not to mention heavy make-up:  things soaps once brought me on a daily basis.  Some days I’m convinced their mother Kris is going to peel off her face, revealing the woman who plays her — Linda Dano!

The Kardashians (E! Television Network, repeated endlessly throughout the week as Keeping Up With the Kardashians and Kim and Kourtney Take New York) have close family ties — a staple of soaps, with [Read more...]

How Prospect Park Can Save Soaps

By Connie Passalacqua Hayman

aka Marlena De Lacroix

In the effort to salve our wounds this summer, the canceled All My Children and One Life to Live sacrificed an essential element of soap opera: believability.  All these people back from the dead simultaneously!  Dixie!  Leo!  Zack!  How are we supposed to buy any kind of reality behind it? On OLTL, the back-from-the-dead tale of the two Todds was explained away by the back-from-the-dead Irene Manning in a backstory so convoluted and fantastical, it might as well have come from the Passions playbook.  I didn’t believe any of it.

As I watched, I was [Read more...]

Au Revoir, All My Children and One Life to Live

By Marlena De Lacroix

Last week I had a nightmare that All My Children and One Life to Live were canceled.  And then the bad dream came true.

But before we wallow in our own  grief, let’s take a moment to remember all the jobs that are being lost — and all the acting careers that are now ending.  So many people out of work!  They are the true victims of ABCamc logo Daytime, the reality shows, and our genre that is now collapsing.  The rest of us will just have to knit.

It’s hard to imagine a life without the daytime icons that have filled the histories of All My Children and One Life to Live.  I’ve lived my life with Erica and Viki, and now I’ll never know if they find forever husbands — or lasting happiness.  People like Tad and Blair and Dorian and Bo have been almost lifelong friends and it’s hard to think what life will be like without them.  

Somehow I can’t see myself making lifelong friends with Mario Batali or Tim Gunn.  Imagine, [Read more...]

“General Hospital” Madness: Why Kill Jake? And What Have They Done to Luke?

By Ed Martin

Anyone who is still wondering why broadcast soap operas are disappearing before our eyes need only review recent episodes of ABC’s General Hospital. Don’t blame shrinking audiences. (Viewers aren’t really going away. They’re just harder to count.) Don’t blame competition from other media. (Overall media consumption is on the

The current Death of Jake Webber disappointment comes at a time when soaps overall are in dire peril — and in desperate need of stories that respect their shows’ histories while reinventing them for the future.

rise, boosted by ever-evolving digital technologies that make following a favorite soap easier than ever.) Don’t blame the recent round of network budget cuts. (Low-budget serialized storytelling is thriving on basic cable television, and there is no reason why broadcast soaps can’t adapt.) Whatever you do, don’t blame the actors. (There are dozens of fine performers of all ages on the six remaining soaps.)

So what’s the problem? Take a good long look at the current Death of Jake Webber baby jackstoryline on GH and you’ll have your answer. It’s the writing, plain and simple.

I’ve never been a fan of soap stories that involve the deaths of children, and that includes the now legendary Death of BJ Jones saga on GH almost 20 years ago, another tale in which one kid died a sudden death and made available a critical organ to save an afflicted child elsewhere on the canvas.  At the time, I thought the loss of Nurse Bobbie Spencer Jones’ little girl would in the long term damage the show, in that I could imagine dozens of stories about BJ in her troubled teen and young adult years and the impact her behavior would have on her mother, who had been a rather combustible teen herself. For the most part I was wrong about that. The show found plenty of stories to tell even without [Read more...]

Winter Thoughts and a Book Review

By Marlena De Lacroix

Bonjour,  everyone.  Still watching.  I’ve particularly enjoyed One Life to Live‘s sweeps, with the downfall of Clint, and his acid confrontations with that bitch Aubrey.  Pine Valley seems to be emptying out and you have to ask yourself how long Alicia Minshew can carry the show on her boney shoulders.  I’m rooting for Sonny and Brenda  — how many brides and grooms can boast that they’ve both killed people?

As you know, the fare is so limited these days, the snowy afternoon ends much earlier than it used to. So what’s a girl to do?

How about browsing through a good new book on soap opera.  Whether you are a fan or a soap scholar, you’ll enjoy [Read more...]